Curse of The Avid Reader Card: MAKE IT STOP.

Break out a human-sized rock, because you’re going to want to live under it to avoid hearing any more about The Book That Won’t Go Away [Celebuzz]

Failing that, why not try capitalizing by selling merchandise based on The Book That Won’t Go Away? [Huff Post Style Canada] [The Gloss]

If you shoot yourself after reading this, don’t blame me…blame The Book That Won’t Go Away [The Daily Mail Online]

I’m really certain you will shoot yourself after reading this. Obviously, I’m the last person who would advocate book burning, but for The Book That Won’t Go Away, I will make an exception [Huff Post Books Canada]

As if Twilight hasn’t ruined enough lives already, it’s where The Book That Won’t Go Away got its roots [The Wall Street Journal]

The guy who wrote American Psycho wrote about torture, now he’s out to torture himself, because he really really really wants to write the script for the movie based on The Book That Won’t Go Away [The Hollywood Reporter]

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Curse of the Avid Reader Card: Angelina Jolie to Direct Fi’ty Shades o’ Cray?

This has “not gonna happen” written all over it [Screen Crush]

Ondaatje, Gwyn part of stellar line-up for 24th annual Writers’ Festival [The Wellington Advertiser]

How I Got My Agent [Writer’s Digest]

10 Books Every American NEEDS To Read [Huff Post Books Canada]

Hottest YA reads of Fall 2012 {Huff Post Books Canada]

Jay McInerney: why Gatsby is so great [The Observer]

How you can help Canadian literary publishing [Literary Press Group]

I love Jennifer Weiner; I’ve read all of her novels, so here’s an article she’s written about bad family vacations [The Washington Post]

Is My Novel Gay? [Huff Post Books Canada]

A case for independent publishing [Novel Publicity & Co.]

Another case for independent publishing [Huff Post Books Canada]

OMG! CLOWN!! [The Hollywood Reporter]

Kiera Knightley in yet another novel-turned-film period piece. Hasn’t Anna Karenina been given the silver screen treatment already? [Film Filia]

Fancy from The Jamie Foxx Show has written children’s books [Essence]


Down With OPB: Why “Nervous” Makes Me Nervous, Part 4: Very Unnecessary

(For background on this post, read parts 1, 2, 3, 3 1/2)

Mercifully, I have come to the last post in my series of, to be frank, bashing this poor woman’s novel (well, she’s not poor, inexplicably, she’s a millionaire). I despise the word “hater”with a passion (I guess you could say I hate it *rimshot*) not only because it’s overused, but because it’s usually used incorrectly: to describe a person who dares to have a difference of opinion from the masses. However, I think I’m actually behaving as a hater – sorry, I still have to shudder ’cause I’m using that word – when it comes to writing these posts. So maybe I should be worried about karma biting me in the ass, that once I publish a novel, some foul-mouthed, sarcastic drunk will tear it apart on her little blog that gets less than twelve views on a good day. But since you and I both know the Kardashians will become disinterested in the spotlight before I publish a novel, so I don’t have to worry!

With that being said, on with this post.

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Down With OPB: Why “Nervous” Makes Me Nervous Part 3 1/2: Three’s Company

This was supposed to be a part of my last post about this book, but I rambled it went on for so long that I decided to make it a post on its own. Hence the “3 1/2”. Not very clever, at least not as clever as The Naked Gun 33 1/3. God I loved those movies.

What was I saying?

Oh yes.

So far, I’ve been drinking a big glass of haterade in regards to Zane’s novel, Nervous, intending to refute several claims on the Internet that she is a “talented writer”. So far I’ve covered how the implausibility of the sex scenes (yes, even for porn erotic fiction)  and poorly plotted romance defy such a theory, as well as the multitude of contrivances throughout the novel. As I explained above, this post is a continuation of the most recent one. It involves Multiple Personality Disorder victim – and our dear protagonist – Jonquinette Pierce. As far as she knows, she has only one other persona, the very promiscuous Jude. But she was wrong.

DEAD WRONG.

(Explicit content from here on in. Reader discretion advised.)

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Down With OPB: Why “Nervous” Makes Me Nervous, Part 3: Contrived Bullshit

“That was a well-plotted piece of non claptrap that never made me want to retch.”

So far I’ve covered how the sex scenes and romance plot in Zane’s novel, Nervous, make for a poorly-executed read. Now, I’m going to discuss the contrivances in the novel, some which also include the aforementioned themes I discussed in the first two posts. Just getting that out of the way so it doesn’t seem like I’m repeating myself.

It’s that I don’t expect any part in any novel not to be contrived; it’s very hard to emulate real life without boring the reader or stalling the plot. That being said, these contrivances shouldn’t be as frequent and as glaring as they are in this book. They’re obviously in place to rush the plot along, but they much too quickly, and tend to suck up the realism and authenticity one is looking for when they’re reading porn erotic fiction.

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Curse of the Avid Reader Card: Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby!

The fine line between sex and erotica in literature [Huff Post Books Canada]

YA, the Mass Media, and White America: What’s Wrong, Why It’s Wrong, and How To Fix it [book brats]

Why would anyone think that an actor from one popular book-into-movie franchise would join the cast of another? [Jezebel]

When Hollywood Runs Out of Books to Turn Into Movies [Cracked]

Which states in the U.S.A are reading Fifty Shades of Grey the most? Probably the ones who don’t care about good writing. [Goodreads]

While we’re on the subject, more actors and actresses want to play control freak Christian Grey and dumbfuck Anastasia Steele [Huff Post Books Canada]


Down With OPB: Why “Nervous” Makes Me Nervous, Part 2: Abuse Of The Romantic Comedy Manual

Warning: this post contains explicit content. 

Here’s Part 2 of my review of Zane’s novel, Nervous. If you haven’t read Part 1, click here!

The Romance

You know, it’s really okay if a female protagonist doesn’t have a man at the end of a book. Really, really okay. She can still have a happy ending if she’s single, I promise. But. If you insist on her having a romantic interest and living happily ever after, at least make the romance somewhere in the realm of reality, for the love of God.

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