Longest. Spam Comment. Evah.

Hello Webmaster, I noticed that http://prosenylund.com/2011/09/17/how-to-fuck-well/ is ranking pretty low for some keywords, this may be due to the new Google Panda update, or it could be due to a variety of other factors. I’m sure you already know about On-page SEO, where Google cares highly about proper formatting of various H1/H2/H3 tags, having your main keyword appear in the beginning of your post and having your post end with the keyword, along with having keyword related alt tags and very relevant LSI. However, you do not seem to have the proper Keywords or relevant Keywords in your posts and in the website. Right now you need a tool or plugin that will allow you to check on Keyword insights, search trends and check for backlink analysis and to find out your Keyword competition. To find a Keyword Plugin that combines both Keyword Research and has the ability as a Rank Checker is what WordPress Seo Keyword, please check out our 5 minute video.

Yeah, I’ll get to that  5 minute video, right after I find out who kidnapped the Lindbergh baby; the person/people really responsible for the Kennedy assassination; where Amelia Earheart’s been hanging out for the past 60-odd years, and what the hell’s been keeping Keith Richards alive.

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SERIOUSLY THOUGH?!

thewholehouseofnakedbitches

I give up. I really, truly do.


Okay, That’s Just About Enough, Buddy.

how to fuck well (again)

how to fuck

fuck well

prose fuck

“sex change” fiction

Jennifer Weiner erection (??)

I’m convinced this is the same person. At first I thought it was funny, but enough is enough!

Pretty sure porn would help ’em with at least three of the six search terms, though.


“how to fuck well.”

I’m sorry, dear Google user, but you’re not going to find anything of that nature here. But I wholly appreciate your regard for good grammar, so I wish you luck in finding assistance with your lovemaking skillz.


“Smelly Auld Bitch.”

The title of this post, of course, refers to yet another awesome search term used to find my blog. Even better: “brain fuck.”

It’s comforting to know that there are more screwed up people than I in the world.

It’s not so comforting that they find their way on my blog.


This Ain’t Funny No Mo’.

This is the second time someone has found my blog while searching for porn. The hell is going on, man? There ain’t nothin’ even close to porn on here! But this time, the keywords make “Sienna West getting fucked in the woods” sound like a Raffi song. This time, someone was looking for…they wanted…aw hell, I’ll just come out and type it:

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The Saga of the Rotating Nipple

Back when I was seventeen, I was a pretty shitty writer, even though I’d been writing since I was eight. But I hadn’t found my “voice” yet (and only have just recently) , and made poor reading choices (see previous post).

You know how they say you are what you eat? Well, you also write what you read. I read crap, so I wrote crap. Which is probably why I never really finished the novel I’d been trying to write since I was fifteen. My attempts at such a goal were plentiful but laughable, and lasted only one or two chapters.

But none were more laughable than the one I was writing my last year of high school. Unfortunately, I burned the thing ( and I reallllly wish I hadn’t so I could post it here), but I do remember that it was about a girl who was sleeping with her sister’s fiancé. (Totally original, right?) I don’t think it was more than two chapters, but the first one was pretty significant, because it involved the main character lying post-coitus in the arms of her forbidden flame. Which is funny since this was written by someone who despises romance novels. So she’s lying there describing how she feels being in his arms, the way his bedroom looks and other various innocuous bullshit. The prose was very trite and very purple, making for an unremarkable scene.

If it weren’t for the rotating nipple.

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