Down With OPB: Reading In a Winter Wonderland!

1. White Tiger – Aravind Adaiga – moved to Spring Reading

2. Surfacing – Margaret Atwood – moved to Spring Reading

3. What’s Your Number? – Karyn Bonsak

4. Wild Stars Seeking Midnight –  J. California Cooper – moved to Spring Reading

5. How To Teach Filthy Rich Girls – Zoey Dean

6. My Soul To Keep – Tananrive Due – moved to Spring Reading

7. Joplin’s Ghost – Tananrive Due – moved to Spring Reading

8. Video Cowboys –  Yolanda Joe – moved to Spring Reading

9. Dollhouse – Kim, Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian (yeah, that’s right! I’m a masochist!)

10. Sleeping With Beauty – Donna Kauffman

11. Feminista – Erica Kennedy

12. The Wife’s Tale – Lori Lansens

13. The Emperor’s Children – Claire Messud – moved to Spring Reading

14. The Upper Room – Mary Monroe – moved to Spring Reading

15. I’ll Take You There – Joyce Carol Oates – moved to Spring Reading

16. Handle With Care – Jodi Picoult

17. 666 Park Avenue – Gabriella Pierce – moved to Spring Reading

18. Sex Wars – Marge Piercy – moved to Spring Reading

19. Some Sing, Some Cry – Ntzoake Shange (with Ifa Bayeza) – moved to Spring Reading

20. On A Day Like This – Peter Stamm – moved to Spring Reading

21. Big Girl – Danielle Steel (yeah, that’s right! I’m a masochist!)

22. Can I Get a Witness? – ReShonda Tate Billingsley

23. Let The Church Say Amen – ReShonda Tate Billingsley

24. Roadrunner – Trisha R. Thomas

25. Dirty Girls on Top – Alisa Valdes-Rodriguez

26. Gossip Girl: Psycho Killer – Cecily Von Ziegsar

27. The End of Everything – Megan Abbott

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Down With OPB: Oh, Yes I Did!

I joined the KKK!

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Down With OPB: The Vomit Diaries.

"I am so great! I am so great! Everybody loves me, I am so great!"

I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I really must apologize in advance, but I have to do this, gotta get this outta my system or I’m gonna have a massive brain injury brought on by dangerously high blood pressure due to unprecedented amounts of pure unfiltered RAGE.

The Vixen Diaries was one of the books on my Summer Reads list. (Thank GOD I took this out of the library or I’d be racing to the bookstore for my money back.) I should’ve listened to my instincts, should’ve taken the sense of dread that I had towards reading it as foreshadowing, should’ve listened to my good friend who got only halfway through it because she couldn’t stomach it anymore.  I realize that no one had a gun jammed in my ribs, that I had no obligation to read it, but I’d read her previous memoir, Confessions of a Video Vixen, so I was curious to read its follow up.

Well, call me a cat, ’cause I got KILLED, as evidenced by my review of this trash, which I did in a mere five words (as I am with the rest of the books on my list): “Self-indulgent piece of crap.” But now that I think about it, I’m not sure if I meant the book or its author.

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Down With OPB: I Ain’t Afraid Of No Ghostwriter.

Today Barnes and Noble’s website debuted the first chapter of Tyra Banks’ upcoming new novel, Modelland, and of course I took a peek to satisfy my morbid curiosity. Don’t judge me! I’ve also put it on hold at the library.

Okay, now you can judge me.

P.S. Judging from the quality of the writing, it’s gonna be a LAFF RIOT.

P.P.S. Naomi already did it, Ms. Banks.


Oh, For F**k’s Sake.


Down With OPB: Sweeeet.

Yes, I know the title of this post is lame as shit. But so’s the name of Lauren Conrad’s third novel in her L.A. Candy trilogy. I mean, Sugar and Spice? L.C. probably didn’t come up with the title of this book herself (or the words beyond the cover) but yeesh. It looks like they were REALLY scraping at the bottom of the barrel when they came up with this stinker, trying to keep up with the whole “Candy” theme. But I can actually sympathize: in ad school, we’d often have to do three-shot campaigns for our portfolios; the first two headlines (at least for me) would always be the strongest while the third…eh.

Anyway, I know that it’s surprising that I’m posting about another Lauren Conrad novel, despite the fact that they kill my brain. But it’s the third and final one; I soooo didn’t wanna be left hanging. Not saying that this didn’t kill my brain either; it almost totally annihilated what hasn’t been destroyed by alcohol. Actually, it was worse than the first two: boring and unnecessary. It was quite the struggle to get through. Even if the predecessors were mindless junk, they were more entertaining. This one – ugh – was such a struggle to get through. I will say that the most interesting thing about this trilogy is getting insight onto how reality TV works, and I gotta say, if what’s written here is accurate, they’d have to pay me about 10 trillion dollars an episode for me to put up with that shit. And it’s also fun trying to figure out which character is which from The Hills. L.C. even “wrote” her alter ego, Jane, just as vanilla as she appears to be in real life.

But despite the fact that I found this book the worst…I also found it the best. Why?

Because at the end of the novel, the heroine ENDS UP SINGLE. And HAPPY. In a CHICK LIT BOOK.

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Down With OPB: I’ve Gotta Toothache.

 

 

 

This is your brain.

 

This is your brain after you read a Lauren Conrad novel.

Any….

Sorry, I lost track of what I was saying. ‘Cause I just finished a Lauren Conrad novel.