The Bitches, Part 12.

Refresh your memory here!

[Now]

The Bitches aren’t fazed at all.

“So? Go ahead, get it over with already!” Bitch One urges.

“Seriously,” agrees Bitch Two. “You’re better off dead, and you know it!”

“You think you offing yourself is a threat to us? We encourage it! Go the fuck ahead!”

“You look like a stupid, ugly wet rat standing there!”

“Hell, if you don’t do it soon, maybe we can help!”

Cherish is still standing in the shower, the water on full blast, the razor still poised above her wrist. The hand that’s holding the razor is trembling now as she considers her next move. All the courage she’d had, that made her challenge The Bitches mere moments ago, has seemed to go down the drain with the water.

“What are you waitin’ for? What do you have left? You’ve lost your man, who, by the way, is marrying someone else…”

“You’ve lost your job…”

“You’re broke…”

“Fat…”

“Ugly…”

“And, oh yeah! The cops are after your ass!”

“So whaddya have left to live for?”

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Down With OPB: I’ve Been Cheating…

…on my reading list!

Scandalous, I know.

It’s my damn Kobo eReader. It makes it too easy to bankrupt yourself because it’s too easy to download (almost) any book without leaving your bed! It goes straight to your account! I know I should exercise some self-control, but I have none. Oh well – if I go broke and become homeless, I’ll have a shit load of things to read!

…of course until my eReader needs charging.

Anyway, another problem that my trigger-happy downloading finger has caused is to neglect my winter reading list. I probably would have finished it if it hadn’t been for the following. Please hold your laughter at some of the following titles until after you’ve read it through.

Everybody Say Amen – ReShonda Tate Billingsley

Say Amen Again – ReShonda Tate Billingsley

Trading Up – Candace Bushnell

The Pact – Jodi Picoult

Recalculating: An eShort StoryJennifer Weiner

The Half-Life: An eShort StoryJennifer Weiner

Sleeping Arrangements – Madeleine Wickham

The Gatecrasher Madeleine Wickham

Edited May 12, 2012 Okay, fine. Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy – E.L. James. Happy?! Now I’m going to kill myself for admitting this on the goddamned Internet. After I write a fabulously snarky review of it to post here, that is, because despite the hype, the books suck. Just like the protag- sorry. She also swall- sorry again.

I’m going to try to stay faithful to my spring reading list, but let me tell you: it’s gonna be hard, ’cause I still have a lot of books in my Kobo’s queue. I’ll try to try.


The Bitches, Part 11

Refresh your memory here!

[Then]

The Woman Who Looks Like Cherish’s Sisters never came back after Cherish had found her on the couch with The Man She Used To Know. Cherish told herself that she didn’t care, but she was curious as to where she went. Finally moved into her condo? (Cherish suspected that the condo had been ready the whole time and The Woman Who Looks Like Cherish’s Sisters just pretended it hadn’t – to her own advantage). Found another home to wreck? Cherish sincerely hoped it was the latter, because that would mean she would leave The Man She Used To Know alone.

Either way, it didn’t matter.

“Look,” The Man She Used To Know said the same night he’d been caught fucking The Woman Who Looks Like Cherish’s Sisters. Cherish was still smarting from his rejection – and partially ashamed of herself for throwing herself at him. It was like hanging onto the edge of a cliff by your fingernails, clawing desperately but futilely at rocks and dirt, knowing that no matter how much you crawled and fought, you were still going to fall off the edge.

“Look. It’s clear we’ve run our course. We can talk and talk and talk and talk, but at the end of the day…” He threw up his hands. “It’s over.”

Cherish was sitting on the bed, her arms still wrapped around her folded legs, her head resting on her arms. The Man She Used To Know sat about a foot away from her. She opened her mouth, but he raised a hand before she could start speaking. “I know what you’re about to say. And you’re right: cheating on you was completely wrong. I’m totally going to put that out there. And I’m sorry you had to see what you saw today.”

“Please. I think you wanted to get caught. And having her live here? Taking all these liberties? Pretty fucked up.”

The Man She Used To Know sighed and stood up. “I’ve already apologized for and acknowledged that, okay? I don’t want to fight with you anymore; nor do I want to draw this out anymore. So,” and he turned to face her, clasping his hands together. “I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to move out.” He flinched slightly as he awaited her reaction.

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