I give up. I really, truly do.


Okay, That’s Just About Enough, Buddy.

how to fuck well (again)

how to fuck

fuck well

prose fuck

“sex change” fiction

Jennifer Weiner erection (??)

I’m convinced this is the same person. At first I thought it was funny, but enough is enough!

Pretty sure porn would help ’em with at least three of the six search terms, though.

Down With OPB: The Greatest Books Of Fall!

1. White Tiger – Aravind Adage – moved to Reading Wonderland

2. Surfacing – Margaret Atwood – moved to Reading Wonderland

3. Can I Get A Witness – ReShonda Tate Billingsley – moved to Reading Wonderland

4. Let The Church Say Amen – ReShonda Tate Billingsley – moved to Reading Wonderland

5. Money Can’t Buy Love –  Connie Briscoe

6. Wild Stars Seeking Midnight Suns – J. California Cooper – moved to Reading Wonderland

7. Eleanor Rigby – Douglas Coupland

8. How To Teach Filthy Rich Girls – Zoey Dean – moved to Reading Wonderland

9. My Soul To Keep – Tananarive Due – moved to Reading Wonderland

10. Joplin’s Ghost – Tananarive Due – moved to Reading Wonderland

11. Elixir – Hilary Duff

12. Video Cowboys – Yolanda Joe – moved to Reading Wonderland

13. Sleeping with Beauty – Donna Kauffman – moved to Reading Wonderland

14.  Skinny – Ibi Kaslik

15. Feminista –  Erica Kennedy – moved to Reading Wonderland

16. The Wife’s Tale – Lori Lansens – moved to Reading Wonderland

17. The Upper Room – Mary Monroe – moved to Reading Wonderland

18. I’ll Take You There – Joyce Carol Oates – moved to Reading Wonderland

19. Dirty Girls On Top – Alisa Valdes-Rodriguez – moved to Reading Wonderland

20. Some Sing, Some Cry – Ntzoake Shange (with Ifa Bayeza) – moved to Reading Wonderland

21. On a Day Like This – Peter Stamm – moved to Reading Wonderland

22. Big Girl – Danielle Steel – moved to Reading Wonderland

23. Roadrunner – Trisha R. Thomas – moved to Reading Wonderland

24. Holding Still For As Long As Possible – Zoe Whittall

25. Modelland – Tyra Banks

26. Handle With Care – Jodi Picoult – moved to Reading Wonderland

27. 666 Park Avenue – Gabriella Pierce – moved to Reading Wonderland

28. Sex Wars – Marge Piercy – moved to Reading Wonderland

29. The Story of Beautiful Girl – Rachel Simon

30. One Day – David Nicholls

31. The Help – Kathryn Stockett

32. Bottle Rocket Hearts – Zoe Whittall

33. I Don’t Know How She Does It – Allison Pearson

34. What’s Your Number? – Karyn Bosnak – moved to Reading Wonderland

35. The Emperor’s Children – Claire Messud – moved to Reading Wonderland

36. Secret Obsession – Kimberla Lawson Roby

37. Gossip Girl: Psycho Killer – Cecily Von Ziegsar – moved to Reading Wonderland

Read the rest of this entry »

“I decided to start this blog because I am a big fat procrastinator.”

Writing this post to commemorate Prose Nylund’s 1st anniversary is somewhat an exercise in irony, given that it was on September 6th.


‘Cause I actually started it on May 19th, where the inaugural post promised that I wouldn’t procrastinate. Then there was a follow-up post to clarify the original mission of this blog, and then…nothing.

For four whole months.

Which is par for the course when it comes to my writing- except I’d started this blog to stop my procrastination. So not only did I procrastinate on the blog that was to stop my procrastination, but I also (kinda) procrastinated on the anniversary post on what isn’t the real anniversary because on the real anniversary date I’d procrastinated so much that it isn’t a real anniversary!

Seriously. It makes total sense.

But in order to understand how I got here, we gotta go back.

Way back – to when I was 3 years old.

Wait! Come back! Sit tight! It’ll be worth it! If not, I will send you a gallon of wine.*

*not a guarantee

Read the rest of this entry »

“how to fuck well.”

I’m sorry, dear Google user, but you’re not going to find anything of that nature here. But I wholly appreciate your regard for good grammar, so I wish you luck in finding assistance with your lovemaking skillz.

55 Word Short Stories: It’s All In The Delivery

Note: This also counts as a holiday story.

Wendy kept James awake with her tossing and turning, but he understood, considering her advanced condition.

Just as he finally got to sleep, he woke up to the sound of Wendy exiting the bathroom, saying “Happy Labour Day!”

Still half-asleep, he mumbled, “But that was yest – oh,” stopping short when he saw her drenched nightgown.

Reading, Writing & Wine.

I probably should’ve posted this on Friday or at least yesterday, but I have a life outsida my computer, you guys. 

Okay, not really.

Okay, not at all. Yesterday was a fluke.

Anyway, my plans for the long weekend, while nerdy in theory, excite me. Most people would run away screaming at the prospect of spending their long weekend reading and writing when they could be out partying and getting blitzed, but then I was one of those kids who was punished by having their books taken away and being forced to go outside and play.

I’m 100% percent serious. I swear on my Wonder Woman collection. Ask my parents.

Besides, I can still totally get blitzed while doing this. The best artists were drunks, were they not? Yes, I know that can enjoy reading and writing without being under the influence, but I just want an excuse to drink, a’ight? (I made quite the fruitful run to the LCBO yesterday and I cannot just let good booze go to waste. There are sober people around the world, after all.)

Now with that out of the way, let’s get to the subject at hand, which is what I’m trying to accomplish this weekend!

On my Summer Reads page, I used to have 28 books on this list, but it’s now been reduced to 22. The six I deleted are books that I own, so I can read those anytime, while the rest are library books. Therefore I thought it would make more sense to read those first since they are, of course, time-sensitive. I’ve already read and reviewed ten of these books, so I have twelve left to read. Which explains the reading component of this weekend. But since my calendar says that summer ends September 23, I still have a bit of time. *Whew*.

As for the writing component…yes, I know. I’m getting to that. But I’ll also be posting a few more 55 Word Short Stories, (one which incorporates Labour Day to also fulfill my holiday-themed stories, another which involves, yet again, Adele and Sienna) which I know I’ve been doing a lot of lately, but these ideas just keeping coming to me, ok? I can’t help the beast that’s my creativity. And in accordance to the beast’s wishes, I may end up posting a lot or very little, yielding either just a writing weekend or just a reading weekend. Regardless of which situation occurs, wine will be included.

I am NOT a drunk.