Violet opens James’ door. “Time for church!”
“But mom! I wanna sleep in!”
“You promised you’d come to church on Good Friday!”
“I changed my mind.”
“You won’t get out of bed for a man who bled slowly to death so you won’t die for thinking dirty thoughts about Beyoncé?”
“Give me five minutes.”
Yeah, I kinda cheated here. I couldn’t fit this story into 55 words so I did it in 110 – exactly double the amount.
Barney was ten when he met Oliver’s mother. “She’s hot.”
Then, at fifteen: “Your dad left your mom? But she’s so hot.”
And by her 45th birthday party. “I can’t believe your mom is turning 45. She’s so -“
Oliver sighed. “I know. Hot. Jesus! Why don’t you just marry her!”
Two years later, Oliver’s mother called. “I have big news! Can you come over?”
Oliver was surprised to see Barney sitting next to his mother in her living room. “What’s going on?”
Oliver’s mother smiled. “We’re getting married!” She showed him the ring.
Oliver glared at Barney, who shrugged. “Well, you’re the one who said I could!”
“So?” Cherish was sitting up straight with her back against the headboard, fully under the covers now, her arms crossed. The Man She Used To Know sat at the very end and very edge of the bed, not looking at her. Like this, it seemed impossible to believe that they’d ever performed any intimacy whatsoever there.